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Jump to 'My boyfriend can't ever orgasm and it's getting in the way of our relationship' A reader's boyfriend has 'retarded ejaculation', where he cannot orgasm during sex or foreplay. But he won't seek help and it's getting in the way of wabting relationship. I've been so happy with him but he has 'retarded ejaculation' and cannot come during sex or foreplay, only when he masturbates. We have not had sex for months. Last time he couldn't odal an erection and now he says he's too afraid.
Jump to 'My boyfriend can't ever orgasm and it's getting in the way of our relationship' A reader's boyfriend has 'retarded ejaculation', where he cannot orgasm during sex or foreplay. But he won't seek help and it's getting in the way of their relationship.
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I've been so happy with him but he has 'retarded ejaculation' and cannot come during sex or foreplay, only when he masturbates. We have not had sex for months. Last time he couldn't keep an erection and now he says he's too afraid.
He has never been in a relationship longer than six months, I'm guessing due to this issue. Otherwise he is caring and affectionate, but there is no wantinf. I have been trying to get him to therapy for this but he is reluctant. We've discussed a future together but he says he doesn't want marriage or children but I do.
He says he loves me, wants to move in together but that's it. I want him to want to sort our problems out together but he seems to just recoil, saying he's a failure and giving up. What is retarded ejaculation?
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Retarded ejaculation is also called delayed Chanddler inhibited ejaculation. It refers to men consistently taking a long time to orgasm — or not being able to orgasm at all — during some or all kinds of sexual activity over a period of months or longer.
And being distressed by this. Most men with retarded ejaculation usually can get and keep erections, report feeling turned on, and can sometimes orgasm through masturbation but not often via penetrative intercourse or oral sex. While some physical health problems and the side effects of certain drugs can cause orgasmic problems, in general retarded ejaculation is caused by fears and anxieties about sexualitysex or sexual performance; body image worries; or a past history of sexual abuse Does this sound like what your boyfriend is experiencing?
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If so here are some ways he and you might be able to deal with the issue. Different ways to roal He may find discussions easier if he has time to woen and write out for you how he Fucking Plano sexy. Redefining sex You may both feel more satisfied and less pressured by exploring different ways to enjoy pleasure that is not about penis in vagina intercourse. Including massage, kissing, cuddles, sharing fantasies etc.
Although critics argue the latter can put more pressure on already worried men and assumes orgasmic problems are due to lack of excitement rather than other anxieties getting in the way. This increases the psychological pressure faced by men who struggle with orgasm.
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He may feel more confident if he can help you experience orgasm through giving you oral sex, using his fingers or a sex toy or holding you while you masturbate. You orzl may not orgasm every time you have sex or Chndler that often but still may enjoy intimacy. More ways to show you care Some people find their relationship improves if they identify as many different ways to be close as possible.
Meditation He may find meditation or mindfulness techniques can reduce anxiety and help him feel more in control. Medical help I appreciate he has resisted seeking help but he should see his GP to rule out no other health problems are contributing to this situation. His GP should be qomen to refer him on the NHS to a psychosexual therapist although waiting lists vary.
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He and you may also want to talk An confidence to someone at the Sexual Advice Association. Relationship therapy In addition but not in place of psychosexual therapy, relationship counselling may help you both talk together more effectively. Hiding his head in the sand When you try and talk he responds by telling you he feels like a failure. What happens then? Do you continue to talk or do you back off?
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He needs to take responsibility for organising both his GP appointment and seeing a counsellor. He is less likely to engage with getting help or feel in control of his problems if you book appointments for him. If he seeks help, be patient Retarded ejaculation is not oraal to overcome and he may struggle or even worsen before things start to improve.
You getting additional counselling may Chandlsr beneficial during this time to give you a sense on what to expect and how to deal with things in a caring yet assertive way. Why are you staying? Put starkly, you list more problems than positives. What would happen if you just walked away?
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What are your hopes and fears about this relationship or relationships generally? Seeing a therapist individually may help you unpack these issues. Refusing to discuss this also counts as not wanting what you do. Follow her on Twitter drpetra.
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